All the pieces of the puzzle are starting to fall into place. I realize that’s an odd thing to say considering how much I’m going to be moving around in the coming months, but I can’t help feeling that way. I have a week and a half left in New York, a week at home in California, four weeks in Sevilla, and then I finally get to Málaga. I won’t have a permanent address until almost October, but I feel completely settled into my life in a way that I never have before.
This month in New York is my first time living alone, which I thought would make me lonely. But I’ve been busy enough that this isn’t a problem; I have enough homework and lesson planning to make sure that can’t possibly happen. Instead I find myself growing into my independence and feeling more and more like a responsible adult. I’m a bit embarrassed to admit that I’m experiencing this for the first time at 23, but better late than never.
Maybe I feel like everything is settling down because I’m finally living out the plan I have been putting together for so long. But I think it’s mostly this class. Yes, it’s one of the most intense classes I’ve ever taken, but I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to succeed as much as this. I know I can’t really say this yet considering I’m still training and haven’t even started my job yet, but I LOVE what I do. Apparently I’m pretty good at it too. We get lots of feedback and evaluations and mine have been quite positive to say the least. We have written assignments, which trainees often have to resubmit because they do not meet minimum standards of the course, but so far mine have passed on the first try. Yesterday was a more difficult teaching day because some surprise new students really disrupted the established dynamics of the class; getting them to participate was like pulling teeth. But I still went home feeling inspired to come back with better lesson plans for next time. In fact, I am finding that I leave everyday happy with how things are going. I love planning my lessons, I love teaching them, and more than anything, I love seeing my students’ progress.
However, I don’t want to jinx myself by tooting my own horn. I’m confident in my performance thus far in the class and have received mostly positive feedback, but it can very easily come back to bite me in the ass. I’m just over half way through, so I don’t want to get caught talking like I already have the qualification under my belt. This is “boot camp for teachers” after all and it’s not over until it’s over.
There is more to this blissful state of being that I’m in right now, which will be revealed at a later date. Suffice it to say for now that things seem to be falling in my lap and life is beautiful 🙂